When things are going better, the temptation to not write about my experiences with Lady M intensifies. To do that would be wrong, as I started this blog for a number of reasons. To share reflection’s, as a therapy tool, and to share the good, bad and indifferent. As I have said previously, this wasn’t all to do with sharing the knowledge, however if I can help one women banish her Lady M back to her own ramshackle mansion, then that’s good enough for me.
I was not sure if this blog was giving anyone else out there who follows my Facebook page or WordPress any help. However, over the past two weeks certain events have taken place, which I am rather pleased about. Firstly, I started to post on my page the alternative remedies I have started to explore, approximately six weeks ago. Since this I have had people ask me, are they working? Do you feel better? One of my friends has started taking one of my recommendations and another has adopted the exact same approach. I embrace this. It’s one of my principles. And ladies, I am not selling anything. Although I may buy shares in Amazon. And who knows, if I get rich off those shares, I might treat Lady M to a new roof! If only to provide a sturdy enough platform for me to throw her off. See ya later biaatch!!! Let’s not get ahead of ourselves I haven’t chopped down all those thick bushes yet. Lady M’s bush remains as rough and prickly as mine after a two week all-inclusive with no waxing, her lady garden is as sturdy as ever, I’ve only cleared the border, those vines are as difficult to trim as ever. However I have sharpened my shears and I am not afraid to use them. Where has this turnabout came from? Where has the panic-stricken, crying miserable wreck of last few month’s gone? Simple answer. SUPPLEMENTS.
During the time I was having the panic attacks and driving up and down the A1 in my Cruella-meets Alice-Cooper like get up, I had an epiphany. I couldn’t go on like this. Two weeks semi normal; two weeks a wreck. Changes needed to be made, drastic ones. I began to do my research. This research was carried out in two ways. One utilising the Facebook pages I had started to follow since Lady M starting squatting in my attic. And two, the Internet, pages upon pages of research. This is not my style. Don’t get me wrong, I love reading and all things literate, but reading papers created by others, no; it’s not me. I am a self-confessed know-it-all. I am one of those annoying people who always knows what’s best for me. It’s my body, right, how can anyone else possibly know what’s good for it? I was wrong. I was taking the wrong approach, my own approach; coupled with the odd bit of insight off Dr Feel Good and Dr Down Under. I was happy with our little ménage-a-trois. But here’s the thing, after some refection, conversations with Ian, and a deep-dive into what positive changes three years plus of HRT and Anti-depressants had made to our life, we arrived at our destination. And nothing had changed. Liken it to going to the same place on holiday every year; nothing gets any better, the landscape remains the same, perhaps become a little more ruined, but the ambience and the food stays the same. Would you go back? I’m guessing not. And neither am I. I am moving on up.
Researching is funny, you read papers, log onto forums and converse with people you’ve never met. I have done all three, and what a hoot. I’ve been told to FUCK OFF, I’ve had my Facebook page and blog tagged with the strapline attached ‘ this if that mother***** who challenged me.’ And I have also been shown some love and guidance. All of this was just what took place on the Facebook page. Let me give you some insight into what a Facebook page is like with 15k peri-menopausal/ menopausal woman. One word. Hilarious. Tip – don’t go on and dis-agree unless you’re prepared to be slayed. All of the sites I follow are set up in America. There are many ladies akin to myself that will share their knowledge, but not many from the UK, mostly American’s and jeez they are tough sons-of-bitches. Well some of them.
I will share some of my experiences. Week one of my research. I was trailing through comments on the Menopausal-misery-bitches page I had been accepted too. (HINT – clues in the name.) I stumbled upon a post where a women had put this long winded post about her, wait for it……….. Vet Bill. To cut a very long story short, her dogs were sick, it had cost a fortune, she was skint and it was all her f***witted husbands fault for letting them in the garden not long after he had killed some rats. She wanted to kill him. As I was reading it; one word popped into my head. CROWDFUNDING. I very innocently commented ( you know me by now, so I’ll let you decide my motives ) ‘What did this have to do with the menopause?’ Seriously I wish I could’ve screenshotted her initial response; this was followed by my face being copied into the comments, my blog being talked about and lots of words used to describe me that, well, I couldn’t possibly repeat. Now I love a good goading , I have been known to goad Celebes on the awld Twitter, but this was another level. She then went on my Instagram, twitter and copied a picture of me with BIAAAATCH wrote over my face. Thank god she had spent all of her money of her dogs; no way would she be able to afford a flight to the UK. Crazy. Anyway I reported her to admin and blocked her just as soon as I had the time to put a picture of Lassie under her post. With my own strapline ‘Don’t die Lassie!!!!!’ Sorry had to be done. Just to be clear no real animals were harmed during this interlude. You have no idea how hilariously funny it is watching 15 thousand hormonal women going at each other on a website. Hours of entertainment. One wrong comment can send them over the edge.
Most of the insight though is very useful. And due to the fact it is mostly our American cousins they are, if not crazier, a lot more advanced, open and willing to try new things to combat their Lady M’s. Some of the suggestions so far; Horny goat weed, CBD oil, Ashwagandha, estragon gel, estragon cream, Black Kohosh, and some sort of fanny suppositories. I have my own assumptions as to why the American ladies were more willing to try the alternative remedies. More adventurous that us Brits, better read, better educated, ahead of their time. The most honest answer I can give. Health Insurance. HRT prescriptions in America can cost on average up to $88 a month. God bless America. And thank you Britain. Regardless of this my love affair with HRT has come to an end, three years in, 2 stone heavier, tears flowing like a well pumped oil mine, sex a distant memory. I have had enough. I am moving on up, to a new destination and it is thanks to those lovey, and not so lovely American women!!!!
Securitising those alternative remedies, I decided that CBD wasn’t for me, I tried cannabis in my youth, didn’t like it then, why would I now, Horny goat…. No thanks I want to be horny but not if it involves a four legged animal who’ll munch on your undies the same time. I’ve gone for the safer option. It is the use of supplements; and during the last six week I have never looked back, (unless you count the last few weeks in our bedroom when the missionary was no longer required.) Thank you vitamins. I won’t go into the minute details of the bedroom antics, why? Not many of them actually involved the bedroom. But I can say this; I’m horny, horny, horny, horny. This isn’t the only feel good affect I have experienced again. Sleepless nights; a thing of the past, I am no longer paranoid, irrational, irritated, emotional. Six weeks in and I feel great. Brain fog still there at times, but that’s another story ( hey Jules ). What’s changed. No HRT, reduced Anti-depressants. SUPPLEMENTS. I am now taking supplements every day. Magnesium Citrate, Cod Liver Oil, Vitamin D and Vitamin B to name a few. The impact. Since lady M first took up residence in my attic I have never felt better, I am sleeping better, no hot flashes , love my partner again, love sex again, no crying, no paranoia. I am moving on up, to my new destination. And I am feeling good.